More Than Just The Best Medicine
Happy World Laughter Day!
Amid such troubling times, it can be hard to find anything to laugh about. As tough as it may be, I would encourage everyone, myself included, to make a conscious effort to find something to bring you joy and a moment or two of hilarity. In today’s blog, I’d like to take a few moments to discuss the thing that can make or break a friendship if you are a blind or visually impaired person with sighted friends: blindness related humour. But first, a story.
A friend and I were on our way to a bowling alley to celebrate a friend’s birthday. After a pleasant car ride, we arrived in the parking lot. The two of us got out of the car and I waited expectantly by the passenger door for my friend to come around and guide me towards the entrance. After a few seconds, I looked up and opened my mouth to ask where we were going, only to find her rushing back in my direction. “Om my gosh, I’m sorry Clement! I thought you were going to follow me!” I did my best to make sure she knew everything was alright, especially as she hadn’t known me very long, and I didn’t blame her at all for forgetting. We then proceeded into the building and enjoyed a good birthday celebration with the rest of the group.
As people who are blind or partially sighted, moments like these will occur frequently in our lives. Whether it’s with friends or family, people will make mistakes, or not be aware of something we need or expect them to do which pertains to being blind or having a visual impairment. While some situations, such as more serious circumstances, or perhaps in a professional setting, it’s appropriate to react with frustration and correction. However, when it comes to personal relationships, those same mistakes and awkward moments may be the very thing that enhances and deepens those bonds. There is beauty in imperfection, and that applies equally to our expectations. They might not be perfectly met but responding with humour and grace allows a door to be open for conversations about how to do or not do things.
I have had friends expect me to move with them in a line, only to discover that they had moved up without me but were still kind enough to run back and find me. I have had friends attempt to show me photos they have just taken or send me photos they found entertaining or encouraging. Though our instincts at times like these may be to be discouraged or frustrated that people should know better than to treat this like their blind friends, a measure of grace and making a joke can be just as effective as simply telling them they shouldn’t do that and the correct way they do things. Not only that, but we ought also to remember that moments like these, funny as they can be, demonstrate, that certain friends have the same expectations for us that they do for their friends who can see, and yet will still do their best to meet our specific needs when asked. In the end, that should be all one friend can ask of another.
Finally, not only does this apply to sighted people, we as blind people also make our share of hilarious mistakes! How many times have I gone into a room to set up a space only to forget to turn the lights on or raise the blinds to let more light in? As a band leader at church, how many times have I sent the wrong pieces of sheet music to bandmates or given it to them upside down? And yet, while I am teased mercilessly especially for not turning on lights while setting up a room, there is always a reminder to do so next time.
So, to sum up, awkward moments are as awkward or as funny as we make them out to be. Of course, as people who are blind or visually impaired, there are needs that must be met, and there are certain things it isn’t appropriate to joke about, all of which will differ from person to person. Some blind jokes are funny once, and not funny when repeated. Those boundaries and expectations are good to make clear in any personal relationship whether it’s friendships, family connections, or anything else.
But in some moments, those when a mistake is made that doesn’t result in any serious consequences, I encourage all of us to be gentle with each other. If you are a person who is blind, allow some room for humour and use it as an instructional moment to teach why it’s funny, but also the correct response. And if you are sighted, don’t feel guilty or like you have committed an outrageous sin whenever you point and ask a blind person to “bring you that thing from over there”. We all forget, and we all make mistakes. Learn from it, and if your friend is the kind of person to find it funny, store it up as an entertaining memory that enhances and deepens your connection. And if laughter is not the solution for a particular person, then it may not be. All people react differently and discovering that is part of the joy of forming new connections and relationships with the people around us.
And lastly, here are five quotes about laughter to remind us all that laughter is not just the best medicine. Laughter is the very gateway to happiness.
“As soap is to the body, so laughter is to the soul.”
Jewish Proverb
“Yet the best determining factor of how comfortable we are with ourselves, is our ability to laugh at ourselves.”
Wes Adamson
“A smile starts on the lips, a grin spreads to the eyes, a chuckle comes from the belly; but a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, overflows, and bubbles all around.”
Carolyn Birmingham
“Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh.”
W. H. Auden
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.”
Eclesiastes 3:1, 4
by Clement